Donor Clare not only presented me with this free shirt, but also a videotape which she told me would explain everything about the shirt. This is certainly the first time that I have encountered a free shirt which required supplemental information. Furthermore, the pure novelty of getting a videotape with a free shirt will not be soon forgotten. It is always fun to get more than one deserves. I know that feeling all too well.

Truth be told, I document all of my free shirts, none of them which I deserve, at a secret location somewhere on the internet. I challenge the reader to show them my secrets if they show me their secret internet.

"PAPPARAZI STALKS CANTON CELEBRITY" is the name of the seven minute feature that is on the videotape Clare donated to me. In a very general way, the title accurately describes the plot of the film. To expound without spoiling, I write that PAPARAZZI STALKS CANTON CELEBRITY follows a cameraman, "You", following a paparazzi named Mario on a quest to get as much information as possible about the Canton Ad Club's 2003 Ad Person of the Year. The adventure takes place in various parts of Canton, Ohio. The obession that Mario has for this Ad Person is a little odd but totally in character for a paparazzi. This production was done in a light-hearted manner that still manages to convey how absurd celebrity worship can be. Certainly, based on what I've seen, the Ad Person did more work than most people who are famous.

The "Secret Agent" that the tape describes turns out to be Malcolm "Chuck" Innis, the 2003 Ad Person of the Year (don't you know?). He really has no disguise, save for the man on the shirt being a combination of his differnt styles at different points in his life. Mr. Innis actually was a secret agent, though, serving in the Army Criminal Investigation Unit. Thanks to the investigative reporting the tapes provides, I am able to inform the reader of this fact. Soon, I will have a downloadable version of the tape for the edification of those who must know. Surely, if you care about this free shirt, you also care about Mr. Innis.

The delay in getting the video up is regrettable on my part. I'll find the cheapest way I can, even if the cost of time for research is longer than I had anticipated. You'll see. Get your microwaves ready.

This shirt is very unique in that it is the best mixture of personal information and professionalism that has yet to be featured on the free shirt archive. I do prefer personal expression, but understand that professionalism is often the main point in producing a free shirt. Since not everyone with something to say is a professional, nor is everyone with something to say willing to hire a professional, I most get shirts on one end or the other. This is likely going to be one the of the best examples of the middle that I will ever recieve. I've been accepting free shirts long enough to know when one is special.