Cleveland is not a town I enjoy. Being Youngstown born and bred, driving an hour or so to end up in a bigger version of the same place is just no fun for me. So, although it is a little unfair to Cleveland, I do not like the city. This is despite some fun that I have had in the city. Nonetheless,

Because I was young, I enjoyed American football. As a young boy, I followed and fought my fathers' choice of teams. My father is an ardent Pittsburgh Steelers fan, which for practical purposes means that he is strongly against the Cleveland Browns. I went through spells of different teams including the Chicago Bears, but since ownership was local and they were dynastic when that matters as a kid, I rooted for the San Francisco 49ers when I was actually into football and truly cared who won or lost. At that time I was as happy for a Brown loss as I was a 49er win. My strong dislike of the Cleveland Browns continues to this day.

I think what keeps me not liking the Browns is that when I was growing up, whenever I would leave the house people would talk about the Browns. People in Youngstown are normally 60% Browns and 40% Steelers fans unless one team or the other is doing well. Then you have the frontrunners hop on the appropriate bandwagon. Anyways, when I was growing up and caring about football, Cleveland was ascending and I just got so tired of hearing about the Browns. Youngstown is also practically right in between Cleveland and Pittsburgh, so there is no clear home team to support unless one has an allegiance to a particular state over another. Most people figured that Ohio is better than Pennsylvania if only because they are in Ohio. I could not agree with that logic, nor could did I feel right indirectly supporting Youngstown.

My crowning anti-Browns moment came when I cared about football. My grandmother had died when I was ten years old. She happened to know the parents of Bernie Kosar, who was the quarterback of the Cleveland Browns during their runs in the eighties when they could never get past the Denver Broncos. I told them that their son was a terrible quarterback who could not take a hit. My parents were embarrassed and made me apologize. Looking back, that was an entirely rude thing to say, but I was young and dumb. Yet, I had a point since Kosar would slide any time he was under much pressure. The slide is a smart move, but also an uncourageous one.

I would continue to go in and out, much more often out, of football throughout my life. I am currently at the point where I will watch a regular season pro game if I'm not doing anything else, likely watch a playoff game, most certainly watch the Conference Championships, and will go to party and watch or not watch the Super Bowl. Even now, I like to hear that the Steelers do good, since I would rather hear good news if I am going to hear it anyway, and that the Browns are terrible for yet another year. Now, I understand that pre-merger the Steelers used to be awful, but in the more modern times that we live in the Browns are far removed from Championship success.

Now, if I see an older NFL Film, I will sit and watch that for entertainment. John Facenda's voice describing something common to the game of football but in an epic manner over Sam Spence music and slow motion video presents something more compelling to me than football itself can alone. Even now when I hear someone mention Vince Lombardi in conversation, I think of "duels in the snow and cold November mud". I do know that Vince Lombardi was coach of Green Bay and not Cleveland.

Knowing how I feel about Cleveland and the Browns, it should come as no surprise that I was not going to wear this free shirt. Nonetheless, Bob gave the shirt to my mother because he knew that she would find a good home for it, even though she lives with people who do not like the Browns and she does not like football. This handoff took place in Akron, Ohio, where Brown pride is solidly entrenched. I guess even though he's only ever seen me twice, he knows that I appreciate free shirts. I feel that is a good reputation to precede me since it is as true.

I had but one great hope that this shirt was going to fit my friend Donor Dale. If not, I would have been at a loss of someone else to give it to that really bleeds orange. After short discussions revealed that the other area Browns fans that I knew of were more into fitted shirts and not comfort, the pressure was on Donor Dale. Fortunately, had had lost enough weight from the last time that I saw him and was easily able to fit into the shirt and eradicate my fears. As an ardent Cleveland Browns fan, he appreciated and understood the situation to where I was unwilling to wear a free shirt.

Indeed, there are rare things that I will not wear. Cleveland Browns merchandise is certainly among those things.